Humor,  Non-Fiction

Not Even Remotely Ghostly

I am in the process of writing my first book, Elusive Spirits: Paranormal Memoir of a Smalltown Teacher. As you might guess, I have had different kinds of unusual encounters in many places. They’ve all been intriguing, but when they happen in my own home, it can be a little unnerving until I’ve had time to come to terms with it. Such were the recent occurrences involving our TV.

Our TV has been doing some weird things in the last few months. It turns off and on while we are watching it. At first, it happened occasionally. Then, it began happening more frequently. One day when I was home alone and had the TV on for noise, it went off and on so many times, I decided to try to do something about it. Most people might turn it off or buy a new TV. Not me. Not yet. I had already tried jiggling the cords connected to it, to no avail. Then I became frustrated.

“Stop it! This is no longer funny. It is annoying! Just stop!”

I do not kid you when I say it stopped. It stopped at that moment and didn’t turn off and on for the rest of the day. I’m not convinced it was something supernatural like my mom trying to get my attention or our dog stopping in to say hey. It may be slowly dying and we might be forking over several hundred dollars very soon. It seems more likely the joke is on me, as I yell at the TV. And I totally understand how it sounds to you. I’m not going to live this one down for a while among friends and some of you are rolling your eyes. Ha!

Last week we lost our TV remote. We looked off and on for an hour and a half one evening. In a small house, in a tiny living room where the remote is kept within a ten-foot radius, it shouldn’t be hard to locate. We needed to turn the TV off to go to bed and couldn’t.

“I’m almost afraid to admit that someone might be playing a trick on us, since all the crazy stuff that’s going on with the TV lately,” I said as I peeked into the microwave and refrigerator.

By the time Jim (husband) had retraced his steps into all of the rooms multiple times and once again looked into his backpack and dirty laundry, and I had looked into all the kitchen cabinets, drawers, and major appliances, we gave up.

“Okay, this IS going to be funny tomorrow, but I want you to PLEASE put the remote on my desk tonight. I’m going to unplug the TV now.”

I’m really not used to talking aloud to what I think might be spirits and it made me terribly self-conscious to do it in front of my husband. If I heard someone else do it, I’d think they were crazy.

The next morning, I checked on my desk. No remote. I plugged the TV back in and as it took quite a long time to reboot, we began searching the same places we had the night before. It was not inside or under furniture. It wasn’t in the garbage can or washer or dryer. The last place one looks is ALWAYS where it is, right? I began looking inside shoes piled up by the back door. The third pair I chose, had one shoe turned almost upside down. There was the remote, nestled deep into one of Jim’s shoes.

Good Lord, I’ve been reduced to talking to TVs and remotes, all because strange things have happened to me over the years and I hate to leave any stone unturned. Well, go ahead, shake your head. And join a team: #1 That woman is seriously crazy or #2 that woman is crazy, seriously!

I’m guessing the remote slipped off Jim’s recliner as he took his shoes off. The TV? The verdict is still out on that one, but I’ll probably wait until it blows up and we have to replace it. Would a service call to DISH cost less than a new TV?

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