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Roasted Like Corn on the Cob
I’ve decided to take a break this week. This is the second day of my retirement and I thought I would let someone else rack their brain for something to write. I didn’t have far to look, because my sister roasted me this week at a retirement party honoring the three retiring teachers in our district. She underestimates her writing and speaking skills, but she had the room of approximately 50 people laughing the entire time. I stole the speech so I could highlight her. That, and I am a sucker for self-deprecating humor. “As many of you know, Carla and I are sisters, and contrary to what she always…
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Accumulation of Ridiculousness
It seems like yesterday, I was planning my first career: I’m in the bathtub rolling from back to belly and back again; water is up to my chin. With each roll, the water splashes as far up the side of the tub as it can, without spilling over onto the floor. I crawl backward as far as I can, scrunch my long legs up, then push forward, going the entire length of the tub back and forth in rapid succession, until finally forcing water up the walls and onto the rug. My little sister is being dried off because I can’t do the routine with both of us still in…
